Seizuredome, PC – Review
Review by Bobby Foster
Seizuredome is about shooting things before they collide into you. In that sense, it’s a direct descendant of the 30 year-old Asteroids. What Seizuredome adds to the mix is sumo wrestling, nudity and amazing music. I think I’ve fallen in love.
Where Asteroids was tense, minimalist and eerie, Seizuredome is bright, lunatic and breezy. In many ways it’s a much easier game, because there are usually fewer obstacles on screen at any given moment, and you’re always kitted up with a machine gun, rocket launcher or laser beam. Not only that, because of the keyboard and mouse controls (WASD for movement, point-and-click to shoot) you can react and aim much quicker and easier.
Then again, the obstacles you’re shooting are naked women, babies and sumo wrestlers, and so move a lot less predictably than floating bits of rock in space. They also take several more hits than an asteroid before they explode, which is a little odd when you consider that they’re nearly all completely naked, and certainly not concealing any armour.
But why am I boring you with game mechanics? Yeah, there’s a neat little combo system, but it’s Seizuredome’s surrealism and style that impresses, and even puts the Warioware series a little to shame. Those games might seem like gritty documentaries on drug addiction and self-harm after your fifth or sixth round of this. Although indie games (and those who write about them) often get mocked for taking themselves too seriously, Seizuredome stays too busy screaming “YOU’LL NEVER FORGET ME!” to ever trouble itself with artistic pretensions. It’s not big, it’s not clever, it’s just a simple game with silly sprites that wants you to enjoy yourself from the second you start playing.
Technically, there’s not a lot to it, which should come as no surprise when you realise that it was made in just two days. Yet I don’t want to give the impression that I’m going easy because it’s free to download, or because it got made quickly, or because I cling to some misguided belief that indie games somehow benefit from receiving overgenerous reviews. No, what makes Seizuredome stand out is that unlike so many of Jonathan Söderström’s other games, it feels unrushed and complete. It is, like most things that are a little bit special, a collection of simple parts that come together perfectly to make a greater whole. The colour, the sound and the play: they all gel.
There doesn’t seem much point in me going on and on at you about giving this a go. The download is less than 6mb, meaning you could probably have downloaded it and be playing it in less time than it’s already taken to read this review. And I feel confident enough to say that playing Seizuredome is more fun than reading about Seizuredome. So yeah, I’m done here, ready to go back for just one more quick go. Go look at it for yourselves already.
After you loose Avast says that virus appeared.
Now I feel really old – I remember playing Asteroids when it came out 🙁
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